It's Okay- You're Actually Turning Into a Diamond

Team Under Pressure?

Disruption creates shift. Shift taken to a transformative, cellular level is different than a temporary “flavor of the month” change (which we all know doesn’t stick).  Consider the transformation of carbon in the earth into a diamond…. Now we get a picture of what true, permanent change to a stronger, different thing altogether really looks and feels like. You’re building a team to create that kind of change, right?  Chemist Ilya Prigogine won a Nobel Prize for capturing the irreversible process of transformation in nature, and it actually has everything to do with your disruptive team, causing and experiencing it every day. 

Prigogine looked first at the idea of Entropy-what happens when we leave something alone (opposite of your disruption) for long enough. He was looking at chemical reactions, but this applies human beings and teams, too. Entropy happens… left alone, things fall apart or scatter….

Leave a log alone in the woods for long enough, and it decomposes. 

Leave a person alone long enough (like solitary confinement), and they go crazy.

Leave a group alone for long enough, and it either splinters or it becomes Lord of the Flies.  

Prigogine also looked at the opposite; what happens when you add pressure or energy to something to disrupt it- perturbation.  As Perturbations happens to a system (or person or team), it can only hold so much pressure/energy, before something’s got to give, hitting a point of critical mass. This occurs in physics, and it applies to human development and group dynamics as well. 

When pressure continues or increases to its capacity, the heat rises, (temperature in physics and in a room of perturbed people) and things start to vibrate and shift. 

A log under the pressure of a fallen boulder, for long enough… will start to off-gas.  

An individual under increased pressure from a situation… might bail out of the situation. 

A team with increased pressure on it… might lose some people. 

In each of these^, that pressure increases, hits a threshold in it’s current form, and then… 

Everything transforms. Literally. Pushes through the heat of that threshold to transform into a stronger, more stable structure (which can withstand more pressure). 

The wood transforms into coal.. 

We’ve commonly thought that coal under sustained pressure over time transforms into a diamond. (fun fact: diamonds actually form out of similar form of carbon as coal, yet not coal itself)

Championship teams often become so in playoff situations, as they push through to that elite version of themselves.

Individuals pushed with enough pressure of challenge will also transform into new versions of themselves, which is the ultimate learning (can sound like "I'm just different now than before- I can't go back").  

And none of these, just like you, just like your team... will go back to their original form. 

You, your organization and your team will go through this. It is simply how transformative change occurs. You’ll know it’s happening when it gets hot with conflict on the team- metaphorically, yet also the temperature of the individuals and in the room literally goes up when the pressure of those dynamics rises. This can happen when they’ve been wrestling through an idea or process in search of a breakthrough, and have been at it a long time. It can happen when they’re being challenged by an outside force of pressure or time running out, and have to pull out a solution they haven’t discovered yet. It can happen through reorgs or major changes in leadership or the industry. You’ll see it in the organization as people bristle at, go into denial about, or push back against disruption that's brought (by change? maybe even by you?).  In these situations, they’re being perturbed, and that's really uncomfortable. If they can stand in the discomfort of that heat, they can push through the threshold of their own thinking and challenge to transformative, real change. 

Context holds the team.

For teams going through perturbation, this is where you come in as a leader. The way you hold and facilitate those dynamics makes all the difference in your team either being able to push through to transformative change or not. 

Teams either stay together through that perturbation or they don’t, depending on the agreements, trust and commitment they have in place with one another. In looking at any team that thrives through pressure (sports teams, partnerships, organizations), more and more research is showing up to define them from the rest. Key ingredients come down to psychological safety and dependability. Those are huge, so make sure you’ve got the context set…

Agreed-upon values, process, mission and commitment allow people to trust and weather the storm of change. Solid agreements about behavior and what people can count on, hold them all together when things get rough, and become the “true north” on the team’s internal compass, to which they can reset with one another and recalibrate.  These agreements keep everyone’s energy and reflexes in check under pressure, redirecting the players back to one another and the commitment they’ve made.  Examples:

“Never leave a teammate alone,” 

“Work through upset on the team directly, immediately and out of the public eye,”

Agreements like these call the team back to one another, build solidarity, and allow them to stand in the heat all the way through to the other side. If you don’t have those in place, pause your team, pull together and set it up…

• Create a context of unconditional agreements early in the team’s process, before they’re in the heat of the pressure. Help them clarify and articulate what they need to be able to count on without question from others in order to be all in, and create agreements to ensure and protect those things.

• Ask “What gets in the way of you being able to do your absolute best work on a team,” then create agreements to proactively guard against those.

Perspective holds you.

If it's you being perturbed, keep focusing on what's on the other side. There's power in picturing that wood turning into coal, that coal turning into a diamond, knowing that you're in the heat, but what you're going through is leading to a stronger, more structurally stable version of you, on the other side. 

You've got this. You're almost there, diamond!

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This piece is adapted from Sarah's chapter on team dynamics in the book Disrupt Together: How Teams Consistently Innovate. Here's a link directly to that chapter, Your Team of Dynamics and the Dynamics of your Team, where you'll get even more perspective on leading a team through change. 

©SarahSinger&Co. 2016

The Secret Perk About Gratitude

I never really got gratitude, until I realized that I’d gotten it all along. I would hear people talk about how practicing gratitude made a huge difference in their lives - they were happier and more fulfilled - but I never truly understood how that came about. 

I always thought I was grateful. I give real thank yous, I am [usually] polite, and I mean it. I genuinely appreciate and acknowledge other people and the things I have in life. But I didn’t see how expressing gratitude could be as transformational as people referenced; I didn’t see what was in it for me.

Then, suddenly and by degrees, I experienced a shift, and realized that what I had been calling gratitude was really appreciation (not quite the same thing) - of external things, of situational experiences, of other people. Appreciation expressed as acknowledgment is definitely good (and important), but not exactly true gratitude.  

Acknowledgment is an act, but gratitude is a shift.

And once I learned how to access the shift of gratitude, that thing I never really named became a game-changer in my life.

I thought that those people who spoke so highly of the happiness and fulfillment that comes from gratitude had some sort of special ingredients that I was missing. But it turns out, they don’t. I had all the ingredients in my life for gratitude and you probably do to. The key to gratitude is a matter of shifting your perspective and feeling that important distinction between gratitude and appreciation. 

Here’s what happens…

1. Getting Stopped in Your Tracks Happens

If you’re future-oriented like me, this is huge. In focusing forward on the horizon/goal/next steps there’s momentum and progress, yet what’s what’s right here right now gets missed completely sometimes. For some of us, it takes a forced pause to get present. Sometimes it’s an occurrence- like a near-miss of a giant tree getting blown to the ground but missing you by seconds (actually happened to me the other day). Or losing someone. Or the color of the sky (which caused me to stop midrun to take the photo above). Or an inspiring act of kindness from someone. Sometimes it’s learning something we can’t ignore- like a sobering medical diagnosis. Or a private truth someone confides. Sometimes it’s a relationship- like a friend or loved one in need. Or a bolt of connection you feel with someone you didn’t see coming. These moments force us to pause, get present and pay full attention.

2. Sudden Perspective Happens 

Hearing a story of someone who’s overcome bigger challenges than we have or has found utter joy and success with far less than we have, suddenly we see the things we easily have/do with a new appreciation, right? Feeling human connection, new ease, happiness or love after we once felt struggle, sadness, or loneliness– we get the stark difference in comparison. These moments spotlight the contrast between what is and what could otherwise be.

3. Feeling Significance Happens 

In those moments of connection, pause and contrast, we can be moved, touched or inspired by what is. This takes some mental/emotional openness, and is the game-changer. We can experience a profound moment of a-ha appreciation that fills what normally feels insatiable in a unique way, clearing the lens through which we expect things from the world, allowing us to feel joy. 

Or we can just keep plowing forward, missing or dismissing it. 

This is a choice.

Every Day Happens...

Many days I do get it now- it’s not lost on me, because I've created space for those three things to occur, because I’ve created the practice to give myself a lens through which I am struck by the generosity or beauty or uniqueness or wonder of something or someone. Or the inextricable connection between people, moments and seemingly unrelated occurrences right along with the individuation of them all. These things hit me like a smack in the head (or gut or heart). Wow. Awe. Joy. ..not lost on me.

I could’ve been easily hit by that giant, falling tree the other day, but I wasn’t… not lost on me. I get the lucky, maybe miraculously precise timing of that.

The color of the clouds against the sky as the light changes is beautiful in a way humans can’t replicate… not lost on me. I get the brilliance and utter beauty that inspires me to the core every time.

I was diagnosed with cancer, then 10 weeks of process and a surgery later, I didn’t have cancer…not lost on me. I get the rare opportunity and restart in that.

I have a family of amazing people who communicate, support and are truthful with one another unconditionally... not lost on me. I get the invaluable gift of that.

I have the ability to make a huge difference in people’s lives in a powerful and unique way… not lost on me. I get the bigness and responsibility of that.

So now I get this elusive word, and its secret perk I never understood in those three things happening together...

Being Present + getting Perspective + feeling Significance = [not-lost-on-me] FULFILLMENT....as in filled up in a unique way that brings an unparalleled internal clarity and peace. 

Many days I don’t get it. I get caught up in my head just like you might. I move too fast, focus forward or back too much, and I miss it. Great things might be all around me, and it IS lost on me. I always try to show my appreciation - but gratitude is something I've built practice for so that it doesn’t get lost, and keeps my brain scanning for the good, rather than missing it.

Check out the four steps I use daily, and see what you think. My experience? 10 days of this, and you're looking at life through a different, clarified, beautiful lens...

The Four Steps to Real Gratitude

Meanwhile, take a breath, look around, and get the amazingness in and around you right this second- it's right there. 

©SarahSinger&Co. 2015

That Expectation Under Your Upset (every time)

You love upsets, don’t you?  Of course you don’t, because you haven’t seen how they can actually lead you to great insight and more success.  While I love to be creative and strategic as a coach/consultant,  a lot of my work with teams is surprisingly in the world of UPSET.  Not me being upset or even others having so much big dramatic upset, but in helping teams and leaders pull understanding, clarity and consistent success forward out of their daily upsets.

We all have them, and they fall on a spectrum of upsets from tiny annoyances barely worth mentioning to huge fights or confrontations.  How many have you had in the last week somewhere on that spectrum?  How many were you able to deconstruct, then rebuild for success forward.  Check this out…

Basically, we can break down ANY upset to find an expectation underneath that didn’t get met. In the moment, it doesn’t matter why your expectation wasn’t met- just that it wasn’t.  Hence the upset.

So much of my coaching work with leaders and teams comes down to this topic of upsets and expectations.  It almost always presents itself as an complaint (usually an irritation to start), and I first identify it as an upset, then coach to peel the layers of it back to reveal an expectation that was there all the time, and hasn’t been met by someone else.  Often, this is where the real work begins.  The trickiest part is that the most problematic expectations are ones we either assume or don’t even realize we had until they weren’t met by someone else.

This ends up in judgments and decisions about whether a person “has what it takes” for a role/job or not, whether an organization or school is the “right fit” for me or not, whether performance, a service or a establishment is “competent” or “good”, etc.

Here’s the big insight…. I find that most of time, the person walking away, being let go or carrying a judgment about the competency/quality of another is sadly from an upset based on unarticulated expectations. What was expected in the first place for “success” or “good” or “competent” wasn’t ever clearly articulated, so those expectations weren’t ever met.  Granted- maybe they couldn’t have been met anyhow due to capability, skill, etc., but often we never actually know if it was even possible or not without getting those expectations clear, up and out on the table.

Sometimes we’ll be incredibly self-aware in hindsight and get to the following:

“Hmm… why am I so irritated with you?  Maybe because I actually have been expecting X from you all along, and you haven’t been delivering it, so you just continue to irritate [upset] me over and over!”

Rarely is any of this said out loud, yet might be internally by the voice in our heads if we’re really aware and honest.

Ideally we’d realize all of that and say it out loud, followed by the following:

“Hmm… did you even know that I was holding that expectation?  Now that you do, can you meet it?  Is it realistic, or do we need to talk about it to reset agreed-upon expectations?”  

Usually that last part is what I coach about.

Now let me be clear… sometimes expectations are clear, articulated, and agreed to, but still unmet (that’s a different issue, different blog topic I’ll post another time, called accountability).  First things first…

Let’s work on getting expectations clear, up, out, and into agreement.  This will be huge!

I guarantee you that if you look around in your immediate professional and personal life right now, you can find an upset somewhere (remember an irritation is a baby upset that will grow).  If you start peeling layers off the surface of that upset, underneath you’ll find an expectation you’ve been holding which hasn’t been met.  Let’s start cleaning that up, then we can get to the next part of holding one another accountable.

Here’s what to do:

1. Identify an upset (can range from irritation to confrontation/fight/end of an arrangement). If you can’t find one, contact me, and I’ll coach you to be more honest with yourself and see them all around you.

2. Ask yourself: What expectation did I have of this person (although it could be with a process, team or organization) which has not been met?

3. Ask yourself: Was this expectation clearly articulated to the other person involved (who didn’t deliver)? Did they actually know and understand the expectations, and confirm that they could/would meet them?

Then, do this...

If NO was your answer: 

• Go back to the person in question, articulate your upset and the expectations you’ve been holding all along. Start over by re-setting expectations clearly and with agreement (as in “yes, I can do that”). Make sure with the other person that these new expectations are realistic. If they’re not, adjust them or tap other resources to meet them.

• Getting agreement on expectations (maybe even a third set- not your or their original list, but a new set you create out of those together), then you can follow up differently afterward. Agreements are meatier than expectations, and much more follow-up-able.

• Hold this person in your mind as able to meet your expectations (see In-10-tion, chapter #11 in TIG).

• Hold this person accountable in the way you check in and follow up. They’ll deliver!

If YES was your answer…

• Go back to the person in question, restate the expectations again, how they specifically weren’t met, and communicate your upset. Here’s the model I use every single day for that, to make sure I get all of my thoughts out, in a way someone else can hear them without getting defensive.

• Ask for some ownership on their part in this, acknowlegment of what it cost you, andan apology.

• Make a request to either understand why the expectations weren’t met. While this may not cause you to want to re-engage, you’ll at least make your decision forward from an informed place AND you might be surprised. More than a few times, I’ve learned of some crazy circumstance that prevented delivery, causing me to rethink it all and re-start with this person.

• Either re-start and give them another chance with adjusted expectations and re-commitment…or not. You may find that it’s too late to re-start, but at least you’ll have been direct, clear and left the other party with a clean understanding of an opportunity they’ll have next time to get it right.

Going forward, start asking yourself “What am I expecting?”  Do this all over the place-   going into meetings, coming out of meetings, spending time with your family, starting a project, agreeing to go out with someone… then get as articulate as you appropriately can about your expectations with those you’re expecting to deliver, and get agreement.  If by “Yes, I’d love to go out with you” you’re really expecting a quiet dinner for two while your date’s planning to bring you out with six of his/her closest friends you’ve never met, you might be setting yourself up for an upset (actually what happened on my first date with my husband, but that’s for another day).

The more flexible your expectations, the more chances for success, but be honest- our true expectations are usually more solid and inflexible than we’re willing to admit, let alone articulate. 

So, go- expect big things, be clear and specific about it, get agreement, and get success every time!  If you don’t, I want to hear about it.

©SarahSinger&Co. 2015

When The Debate inside your head IS Worth It

Have you had a recent moment of the conversation you were having with yourself was so loud you couldn’t even hear someone talking to you? 

Of course you have. Those self-exchanges can be fantastic or horrible, distracting or helpful... and if you're not careful, consuming. Yet sometimes they're worth engaging, in order to get to your best next iteration. 

(While you may or not be a runner, you can fill this in with a situation where you know you could do the same thing…)

I love my running time. Yet... a few minutes into my run this morning, I just wasn’t feeling it. For a full minute (yes, I clocked it), I had an internal debate with myself-

Me: I don’t want to do this. 

Other me: Too bad. Do it anyway. 

Me: I’m tired and already breathing too hard- this is going to be a slow, rough run. I worked out really hard yesterday and the day before. It’s completely overcast and there aren’t even any good clouds to focus on. Maybe I should take this as a sign that this should be my day off. 

Other me: No. Shut up. You got a rare 8 hrs of sleep last night- you’re fine. It always smooths out after the first 5 minutes. Keep going! You’ll be happy you did when you’re done. 

Me: Ugh. That’s true. I can do anything for 5 minutes, right? Some first-five-minutes are rougher than others, but it always gets easier after that. Okay- I’ll clock it. 

Other me: There you go. Focus up and out- it always works.

So, I did. Five minutes later into this hot, humid run, I was still going, but hadn’t exactly broken through anything (often I do). It was still rough, and the conversation started again. 

Me: Okay- we’re past that magical point, and it’s still not happening. 

Other me: Then call it. Enough wasting energy on the question. No more complaining. If you’re going to do it, just go and get into it. If you’re not, then just turn around and be done.

Me:  Ug. Well… maybe there’s a way to do both.  A compromise without compromising… what if I cut this run shorter than normal by half, but focus on strength vs. endurance to get just as much out of it as a longer run? I never do that, but I could. The run ends faster, yet I work a little differently, honing something else. Win-win? 

Other me: Okay. GO! 

And I did. For the rest of the run I just pushed off each stride a little stronger than I normally would, focusing down on that push-off instead of my normal up and out for the horizon. I felt my focus sharpen, my legs get stronger, my voices quiet. My mind actually woke up in a different way with this slight little change in focus, and I felt myself doing something I’d done a million times through a surprisingly new lens of experience. Worth it for that alone. As I crossed the finish line of my driveway, I felt relieved that I didn’t quit, satisfied that I found a new way to strengthen my stride, and intrigued by how a slight change altered the whole experience so much. 

Yet here’s the kicker…

As I looked down at my MapMyRun, I expected to see the much shorter time than normal, but not much change in my pace, since I was so slow out of the gate. And I was shocked- my pace actually improved by more than a full minute per mile faster! That’s a lot- even faster than some of my full-out sprints at the end of normal runs. 

So- runner or not, here's what you and I both do: 

• We have debates in our head like this all the time. 
• We make choices about pushing through our internal resistance or not every day- consciously or not. 
• We have things we do so regularly that they now define themselves in a fixed, possibly limiting way (i.e.: “a run” to me was running a certain pace, distance, way…). 

So, try this… 

1. Stay ahead of your voice.  The tricky part about your little voice is that it knows you to the subconscious core, so knows exactly how to push you… yet also how to take you down- and it’s not always clear which motive is leading that internal conversation. It’s easy to get psyched out by it, so knowing when to stand up to that voice and how shut it down when it’s sabotaging you is crucial.* Yet if you stay in it (see #2 below), only engage in that internal debate for a limited engagement, or else you get sucked into a rabbit hole of internal tug-of-war, which can stop you dead in your tracks. That’s exactly why I clocked it this morning- after a few seconds of debate, I knew I’d need to contain it to a small timebox so something could either shift quickly or I could shut it down and power forward. Do you know how to separate from your little voice enough to assess its effect on you in the moment? Practice it.* 

2. Take on the internal debate. Your voice can be your best cheerleader or your worst critic, and often it’s a combination that’s weirdly helpful. Sometimes it pushes you in exactly the way you need to be pushed, and it’s worth it to engage with it and argue through its resistance, pressure-cooking your thoughts into a better idea. My voice this morning deftly laid down the ultimatum of  ‘shut up or go home’ because sometimes I need my options to be reduced down to A or B in order to push me into creating a divergent option of C.  Had I ignored that voice and muscled through my full run this morning, I would’ve missed a huge learning, new experience and overall improvement. What does your little voice know you need, and when might it be pushing you exactly the way you uncomfortably need to go? 

3. Shift one tiny thing, and you change the whole experience. We are more habitual than we like to think, and often go on autopilot without even realizing it. The first time you rode a bike it was exhilarating; by the hundredth time, it was just transportation. Through the practiced motions of what we do regularly, our experiences start to blend together. By changing one small thing (try folding your arms, then folding them the other way, with the opposite arm on top), everything changes. A shift even that slight forces you to experience it as instantly different, and you’re snapped out of autopilot, wide awake and getting nuance you missed the last 99 times, new synapses firing, new thoughts possible, and your operating system is rebooted. What possible element can you shift or zoom in on to change an otherwise regular experience right now and notice something new?         

4. Stay present in the experience, and be open to what might emerge. The cool surprise is that a tiny shift can also cause a huge change in results which you just couldn’t get to if you’d kept on with your original plan. Listening while arguing with my little voice got me to something I never would’ve planned. Every step I took a little stronger this morning felt different in the moment, but not enough, I thought, to really change my overall time so much (nor was that my goal, for a nice change). I was so present in the new experience that it didn’t matter to me, yet in the end that tiny change made a huge difference in my time, and will now be a new kind of run added into my training from now on. Perhaps the result you’ve been trying strategically to improve for so long actually needs you to release your vice-grip focus on it for a bit to pay attention to some overlooked element along the way before anything can change overall?  

Going forward, I know my little voice will keep challenging me- that’s its job. I’ll keep looking for where it can be the catalyst for shift where I need it, experiences re-defined and results I can’t possibly predict from here. You too? 

©SarahSinger&Co. 2015

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For more thoughts and concrete strategies for getting to your best thoughts, impact and process... check out my new book, Tap Into Greatness and live workshops, like Tapping Their Greatness. To go deep on mastering your little voice, check out *Little Voice Mastery. 

Of Course You Are.

Something awesome happens. 

Something horrible happens. 

Something we were counting on falls through. 

Something we were sure would never happen actually does. 

Someone or something appears in our life. 

Someone or something goes away in our life. 

Success. 

Failure.

Surprise. 

Connection. 

Disappointment. 

Learning. 

Embarrassment. 

If you’ve talked with me much longer than 20 minutes, especially about any of the above topics, you’ve heard me say something like: 

“There are no accidents.”

"Of course you are." 

“Everything is on purpose.”

“You’re exactly where you need to be.”

“Show me someone who believes in coincidence, and I’ll show you someone who’s not paying attention.”

Those could sound like airy-fairy idealism or some kind of surrender to predestiny, right? 

Not at all, actually.

Yet let me clarify… 

More macro-approach to life than a belief system, there’s a way to pay attention to, interpret and connect the things we experience and their meaning which keeps things moving forward.

While I don’t at all believe that our lives are preset and just playing themselves out, I do think we are part of a massive, multi-layered, universally connected dominoes game all the time, in which every single thing that occurs (including what we do, how we respond, and what we don’t do) causes shift somewhere- whether we see or intend it or not.

The Butterfly effect. Precession. Perturbation… Science shows us how this is occurring in nature all the time, and it’s happening in our own human interactions and reactions, too. 

Call me controlling, but I believe that we determine the results, elements, contents and quality of our lives. I don’t mean that we have control over everything. Of course we don’t. Yet we have more control than we think, and especially of the most important part- how we experience, interpret and are effected by it all. 

While I am optimistic, I actually don’t subscribe to “just believe that it’s all good and it will be all good” thinking- even I think that’s a bit naive. 

Yet when things occur (planned or not, in our control or not), we are presented with a moment of choice. What to think about it? What meaning to assign to it? What response to have or not have? What step to take next? Those choice moments are loaded, and how we choose determines our happiness, struggle and purpose. 

Every time, it’s an opportunity to do a few key things… 

1. Own your impact, trace your steps. 

Concretely: In the most literal interpretation of “no accidents’… we end up in situations and results which we had more to do with causing than we like to admit. While it’s faster and easier to play innocent or assign cause to someone/something else, you’re better than that. While uncomfortable at first, there’s amazing power in clearly, proactively and bravely claiming the path that got you to that moment.  

A funky dynamic with someone? A huge win? A giant fail? A situation you hate or love? 

Call it, Own it, Move on. 

Look honestly and thoroughly at yourself, then call out the role you honestly played in getting yourself to this moment. Then do something about it. 

Owning it this way can be uncomfortable at first, but amazingly empowering after, instilling strength and wisdom that only comes with self-actualization.  Success is not just about luck, nor is failure- rather they are results of your own talent, choices, actions and effort. 

That said, only do this in a way that takes accountability yet doesn’t overblow. If a tragic occurrence happens or an unprovoked perpetration happens, it’s not rational or helpful to put the ownership of that on yourself, so don’t. Move forward to #2. 

Not as concretely: Beyond those visible ripples of our impact, we also have more power than we know in what’s less concrete and traceable- in our focus, intention and energy. When I think about a friend I haven’t spoken to or thought regularly about for years, and they call within moments… When a job opportunity falls through and before it’s even known, a new one lands in your inbox… When you meet a single person in a crowd with whom you instantly and powerfully connect in a rare way… When an athlete visualizes winning in a particular way down to the smallest detail, and then actually does… something’s going on there. The book The Secret was a rage a few years ago because it tapped into a real dynamic in the world- the law of attraction. While I think this is just one piece of what creates the content of our lives, it’s significant. Our presence, attention and energy has impact more potent, constant and far-reaching than just what we say and do; we’re radiating energy all the time. 

So- notice and own the energy you put out into the world and what you attract into your life.

2. Choose your meaning. 

Good and bad are a matter of viewpoint- and actual choices of judgment we can make as we want. 

As humans we are meaning-makers. Something occurs, we make it mean something- this is how we interpret and navigate the world. So moment to moment- what meaning are you making, and is it helpful to you moving forward? In Tap Into Greatness, we explore and redirect some patterns of how your internal voice makes meaning and influences everyone around you. Yet right here, right now- you can shift your perspective...

Since the opposite of accidental is purposeful, choosing to see each moment or occurrence as purposeful flips you instantly from passive to active mode, victim to initiator of what it will cause and create for you.

In my coaching and workshops, when someone shares a revealing truth (like the real issue at hand, or the thorny emotions they’re feeling), my first response is always“Good!” I always clarify, “… not good that you’re feeling that or good that this occurred- but good that we’re getting to the crux of it, so we can make some choices about how to move forward… let’s go!” 

So in a situation you didn’t expect, you can choose to see every one of them as a good thing because even when they’re painful, every one is an opportunity….

…to truly learn something you’ll carry forward, 

…to see something you couldn't before, 

…to choose something you didn’t fully consider before, 

…to broaden or deepen your thinking about something. 

While all of those opportunities when taken are productive, purposeful and keep you consciously choiceful, they’re not always quick, pleasant or fun. Yet every time they’re worth it- because they’re what define your growth as a person- evolving forward on your path different than you were before.

3. See the opening. 

Two of us can look at the same wall and see two different things. You might see the solidity of the wall, while I’ll likely see all the cracks that could be pried into openings, and focus on what’s on the other side. Seeing those cracks, and the potential light coming through them doesn’t mean I have to pry them open, or will even pursue doing so. Yet focusing on what’s past that wall or paths through it opens my thinking, my perspective and my possibility beyond what is obvious in the moment, giving me something I can do something about. That onus of control is key- because seeing the opening puts me into generative vs. limited thinking, focused on making something happen, moving to a different position. Once I see even a crack of light coming through, I can’t experience where I am the same way again, because its limits have been cracked, too. You can, too…

No matter what moment, situation or result you’re in, it’s actually in motion, on it’s way to the next thing- no matter how final or permanent it feels.  

Pause to see a possible purpose. Then ask yourself,  “What’s this on the way to?”  “What is there for me to learn in this moment, which will allow me to create the next one?”  Rigorously push yourself to consider those questions, and your mind will answer them every time. 

---

While you don’t have a crystal ball and it may or may not be all laid out for us…  you do have the enormous power to own your impact, make it mean something that pushes you forward and find the openings through each moment on the way to generating the next. 

So, with the next occurrence that goes exactly how you thought it might... or the one that surprises you completely, remind yourself that there are no accidents- you are in that moment exactly where you need to be to learn, evolve and get something that will shift you as person out of it… if you’re paying attention. 

Of course you are. 

©SarahSinger&Co. 2015

The Tricky Thing About Your Type

“You’re such a classic extrovert…”

“It’s just that he’s a misunderstood introvert..” 

“Here’s the thing about leading creatives…”

“I can’t help it- I’m an ENFP…”

…Maybe. 

In our quest to make the world more concrete through the increasing swirl of input… we sort. In trying to get to our own best versions and figure one another out, we love finding new classifications, diagnostics and ways to look at self from different angles- like holding a prism up to the light in different ways to illuminate all its facets. From the brilliant synthesis of brain research and human pattern-spotting, we’ve now got some great frameworks to simplify our layers and classify ourselves beyond just what we do (like CEO, designer, trainer). We can now describe our talents with more accuracy and depth than ever before, get the ramifications of our thinking styles, and adjust our words to best reach someone’s primary learning modality. This accelerates understanding and progress in teams, relationships and leadership, plus unlocks the door of self-awareness. I use them all the time as a coach. We all should. If we’re careful.

There’s a danger I watch closely every day- in crossing a fine line from understanding to pigeonholing. Case in point is the currently popular label-du-jour of Introvert/Extrovert. Sparked by Susan Caine’s illuminating book Quiet to help us understand the introverted brain came a wave of articles, animations and comparison guides to introverts vs. extroverts all over our media feeds. These are informative, yet also pretty skewed and polarizing in their attempts to show distinctions of type through contrast. This happens easily, even when it originates from the decent intention of increasing understanding. Why?

It’s all in the nouns.

Introvert and extrovert started as verbs- to turn inward or outward.

Creative is still mostly an adjective (as it should be). 

Yet like so many other type-labels, they are now used quite often as definitive tags for people, becoming a whole new class of descriptive nouns… which messes with our thinking. Making something temporary like a behavior (introvert: to turn inward) or fluid like a description (creative: relating to or involving the imagination), into a thing that now is (or has to be) that thing all the time is serious. 

Once we slap a label on ourselves or another it gets dicey. A few things happen…

• The good part- Relief. There’s definitely a validating, reassuring little rush we get when a type fits us so well we want to wear it as a badge. Finally, we’re understood. Somebody gets us. There’s a tribe out there for us. We understand ourselves better. We can set ourselves up with the right fit in situations, endeavors and relationships which complement. We have freedom to be how we are, and clear reasoning for how we aren’t. We don’t have to struggle through explanation of what is just our common sense and the way we experience and see things… we can just point to the profile. Ahhhh. 

• The bad part- Typecasting. Once we’ve got a label, the expectations everyone has of us are hard-set. We’re now defined- period, the end. We get to BE that way, but now we’re required to be that way… which can be pretty demanding in some cases, or stifling in others where we stop pushing ourselves to challenge our own perceived limits. Either situation can narrow our own identity too much to be either accurate or healthy. In coaching countless personality types and learners, I’ve met very few people who are 100% anything, since most of us are much more multifaceted and complex than that. For the few who are that limited, they often have a hard time adjusting to the diversity of thinkers out there (a topic for another day). While we of course have patterns, we also have more facets than we might ever understand through which that light is constantly adjusting. The most extroverted people I know have patterns that look really introverted. The most creative geniuses I know have some very unimaginative output sometimes, yet don’t have the freedom to go there because it disappoints a world expecting their “type.” Leonard Nimoy played Mr. Spock for generations of Star Trek… so much so that it inhibited directors and producers’ ability to envision or cast him as any other character, as he wrote in the aptly-titled autobiography I Am Not Spock. Definitely not what we want to do to one another, right? 

• The troubling part… I barely want to type it, but we also know that labels gone amuck can lead to judgment or exclusion, and then prejudice and intolerance. As soon as we start narrowing our definition of ourselves or one another down to single types or positioning some as better than others (we see some of those outlines in the introvert-extrovert stuff), we’re setting up all the ingredients for “Sorry- we gave the position to an Introvert” or “Oh- you’re a creative? We don’t serve your kind here.” 

So Now what? 

This is tricky business, human understanding of self and navigation of personalities. In all my coaching, facilitation and connecting I’ve found that what we all really want is to understand ourselves and be fully understood and accepted by others. So what starts as a way to get quick ahas about personality can turn into characterization, and then we’re defeating our own intentions. 

Try these to keep from collapsing how we are into who we are:

1. Embrace the adjective. 

We are way more expansive than type-labels as people, so watch how you use the nouns. Describe behaviors as behaviors, patterns as patterns, traits as traits… not as people.  

• “he is very creative…” vs. “he is a creative.”

• “she has some strong introverted patterns…” vs. “she is an introvert.”

2. Get a bigger sampling.

Few people are 100% anything. We are a mashup of a lot of traits, talents, themes and tendencies. I love and recommend the Clifton StrengthFinder, because it gives you a spot-on accurate portrait of your top five talent themes rather than just labeling you as one type… so you can accurately see and understand yourselves and others as the nuanced compilation of elements that you really are. Use this with your teams (friends and family, too), and notice how much richer the conversation and understanding of one another becomes.

3. Think of it all in a spectrum. 

If you’re going to also use “type” tools, realize that all traits are in a spectrum. Introvert and Extrovert are two ends of a particular scale, and most people are ambiverts who have characteristics of both yet slide a little more to one side than the other. So keep that spectrum in mind as you use those adjectives, imagining someone more to one side or another, yet possibly moving around on it a little all the time. 

4. Go for portrait vs. caricature.

We love caricature artists at theme parks because it’s fascinating to see what pieces and parts get exaggerated in how others see us. But it’s a pretty bad way to get an accurate picture of one another as humans, even though we try it when we slap the labels on. To get the real picture, we need all the subtleties, range and cool complexity which create distinction. To get that, keep delving, listening and looking into- then adding layers of unique detail to the portraits we have of ourselves and one another. 

…That’s where illumination and connection happens, and we unlock the facets of our brilliance we didn’t even know were there.

©SarahSinger&Co. 2014

Power & Off-Ramps

The simple on/off ramps connecting the highway to the rest of the world are things we take for granted, yet clutch.

My office is attached to my home, which is good and bad.  The very thing that makes it  really great and really hard is the distance between work and the rest of my life (family, home, etc). It's about 3 inches- the thickness of the door to my office.

Within the worlds we work and lead every day, we have a certain amount of momentum, speed and influence.

Relatively speaking, people listen to us, respond to us quickly (again- all relative), and look to us for direction and leadership when we enter a room or conversation.  All of that gives us a sense of, well... POWER.  The more effective we are in our work, the more we get it.  The more we get it, the more it gives us energy and motivation. Which conditions and fuels us to keep that momentum, even accelerating.

This is an important thing to acknowledge, because it feeds us more than we know all day, every day in that world.  While we have pressure and responsibility with leadership, it’s tempered by that rush we get from the impact, intensity, pace and immediate feedback of influence from our decisions and actions.

In many ways, as we go along in this work-world, it’s as if we’re going 70 mph on a highway, with momentum.  Our peers are going at that same pace with similar direction, acceleration and power, and it’s all flowing consistently. Like that highway, sometimes we don't even realize how fast we're moving, until...

At the end of the day or the week, we enter a different world- NOT work.

Relative to that world of work, this is like driving on sidestreets, where it's a completely different way to navigate with many others who are on very different paths, going different ways, at different speeds. Pedestrians, cyclists, cars turning right in front of us. Definitely not the place to go 70 mph, focusing full steam ahead.

There’s a REASON for offramps.  

What would happen if the offramp from the highway to the side street you just traveled was only 3 inches long?  Ridiculous, right? We'd wrecklessly careen into that other world, and potentially cause all sorts of damage coming into it at highway speed, yes?  Well, perhaps that's exactly what's happening.

In my case, when I'm not traveling or at a team's site for work, my transition from one world to another is only 3 inches long, from one side of the door to the other. While I have another door which goes to the outside, I instead use the one which exits straight back into the busiest part of my family's world. Bam- right from the highway, going 70 mph into the 4-way intersection of cars- some stopped, others going different directions at different times and speeds, with pedestrians mixed in. No offramp. Unsurprisingly, that transition is often jarring for at least someone in the mix (sometimes me, sometimes others, innocently doing their pedestrian thing as they should).

My office setup makes the challenge very visible. Yours may be less obvious, but it's there. Have you used your entire commute home on business calls, then walked into your house (even past a family member) still on a call?  Have you brought your laptop and work right into the the middle of everything non-work? Do you tell your friends and family, "just give me one more minute" while you disappear into email or texting to get one more thing handled, missing what's happening right in front of you?

Many of us come off of our workday or flow into the world of our families and personal relationships without creating, using or acknowledging an offramp.  It’s as if we speed off the highway without that important strip to slow us down, still going 70 mph, then get irritated with everyone else going half that pace because they’re not moving with the flow we're used to and still expecting.

That power, pace and flow of decision that exists for us in the world of work and leadership doesn’t exist in the same way in the rest of our lives. In fact, many of us have experienced people in our personal lives reacting much the same way any innocent drivers on a side street, going along at 25mph would react to someone plowing through at 70mph- “knock it off!”

We’ve all had someone in our personal lives remind us that we’re not their coach or leader or boss, yes?

We've gotten more impatient with our loved ones or kids when they don't listen and respond to us with the way we think they should, yes?

We’ve all gotten irritated and impatient with someone’s (slow) response time outside of work, yes?

Many people I coach tell of their personal relationships suffering at the cost of this.  They were still going at 70mph and missed the things happening at 25mph (like people in their lives finding their own paths, disconnecting, etc.).  Spouses, family, friends. . .

I'm finding that the more I pay attention to my transitions on and off that freeway of my workworld, the more present I'm able to be in ALL the moments-  with my family, with my clients and work, with my projects and in the precious moments of just being by myself.

At the end of the day, sometimes this means creating my own off ramp, since there isn't one built in for me. This might mean driving the long way home to finish the call and give myself a few minutes with the windows down and music up to clear my head before I pull into the driveway. Taking the back door out of my office to take a transition walk all the way around the house to come in the way everyone else does. Turning the computer off and leaving it off.  Leaving my phone on my desk instead of having it attached to me all the time. Getting outside with my kids to play what they're playing.  Turning off all the devices and just talking and connecting with my husband without distraction at the end of the day.

So, where’s your offramp?  

Do you have one?  Do you use it?  Does it cause you to slow down, enter into a different speed and traffic pattern as those around you and pay attention? What happens when you don't?

Create new and deliberate ones. Here's a start:

• Consciously think about the role you just came out of (like "boss") and choose which you're transitioning into (like "partner"). Get yourself in that mindset...how does a partner show up differently than a boss?
• Finish the call, the email, the other-focus, and give yourself a distinct buffer of time and state change before you walk into that other world.
• Give yourself a ritual to mentally, emotionally and physically clear your head of one world and transition into the other (like taking the last 5 minutes of your drive home to be off the phone, listening to your favorite song, loud).
• Create clean lines. Declare "done for the day" to yourself and everyone else who's impacted by it, and do what's necessary to stick to that (computer off, phone in bag, etc.).

As lines blur between the speedzones in our lives, check yourself and your ramps. Then notice your navigation improve.

©SarahSinger&Co. 2013

The Pyramid of Perspective

How many times have you gotten sucked into the stress of someone else’s timeline or pushed out a time-sensitive directive to your team focusing all on the WHENs and details of HOW you wanted/needed it done. This occurs on teams and in leadership daily, and our perspective gets lost. One of the most effective ways to channel the brilliance of your team while grounding it to something solid is to continually give them perspective on their process.  Think of it like a Pyramid of Perspective…

So, where’s your vantage point?  Each of the levels on this pyramid represent different viewpoints of perspective.  In the way that you lead and communicate, you can come from any of the levels of the pyramid, each one coloring your message and influence differently.  The deeper you go on the pyramid, the more foundation of grounded perspective you bring to the team.  As a leader, you’ve got some choices…

Even more on this in Chapter #13 of TapIntoGreatness!

WHEN- Coming from this place, you’re concerned with time (usually never enough), the schedule and the deliverable deadlines.  For a competitive team, When is an important and effective driver for them to get to their results and come together before another team beats them to it.  High achievers often do their best work under pressure, so time and an impending constraint of When can bring out their best. As a leader, it’s important that you leverage that as a motivator without becoming the watch-checker. If you cross that line to become overly concerned with time, your team can dismiss you as valuing time over content or process quality.

• Build and show timelines to give your team a sense of how their process will play out in concrete terms, and give them a sense of “we are here” on the map.

• Adjust the timeline as you go, making space for their emergent process as they collaborate.

• Strategically, use time and deliverables to create urgency when needed. Deadlines spur action.

HOW- Here, the focus is on the process, the steps and the way we get there. If you’ve got a team of individuals coming from successful yet diverse disciplines and experiences, the How will be important to them. They can get stuck on How your team is approaching the work, attached to a particular process to achieve results from their previous world. I’ve seen potentially brilliant teams crumble because they couldn’t get aligned on process.  How your team goes about its impressive disruption is ultimately your call as the leader. It’s critical, because How your team does its magic may be the very thing that sets you apart from your competitors and defines your brand. Yet if you’re overly skewed on form and checking off every box just so, they’ll feel micromanaged and stifled, without enough creativity.

• Direct the approach, honoring and incorporating their expertise, then getting their buy-in on why X is the best way for the team. As the leader, be the keeper of the process.

• Get alignment on it early, check in and adjust course often, looking to make sure the How is tapping their talent consistently and providing a way for it to manifest in great work.

WHAT- This is the outcome or result you’re going for. Achievers and concrete thinkers on your team will always need this to be as clear as possible. If it’s not, they’ll each come to the team’s work with their own interpretation of What you’re trying to accomplish, which can be problematic when they clash with one another. While they each may hold their own important piece in the puzzle, they all need to be working toward the same picture on the box lid to guide them together. Clear focus on the What elevates the team’s dynamic and conversation to a common goal and a reason to rally in collaboration. The more vividly they’re able to envision the outcome they’re going for, the more they’ll be pulled to it, causing the How and When to fall into place to make it happen.

• Get What your team is going for- the change you’re trying to impact- clear and concrete.

• Have the team articulate the goal, get it visually up on the wall of your workspaces, and keep reiterating it for them.

• If the result you’re going for is ambiguous, then set shorter term What milestones along the course for them to focus on and hit.

WHY- All the layers of the pyramid are key in keeping your team and the work focused on the right things at the right times. And Why is is the one that makes the difference between managing and really leading people. The Why both trumps and grounds everything above it on that pyramid, because it gets to the heart of motivation.  This could be what brought them all onboard with you in the first place- a mission to ________ (fill in accordingly). It’s their cause, their call, their drive to do the work and push through to the other side. It brings it all back to purpose which is energizing, clarifying and even calming.  For you as the leader, getting the Team Why clear and articulated is the most important thing of all, after which everything else (What, How and When) is about execution.  This is the conviction that makes the game matter, and the impact of their efforts bigger in the world. It’s what engages these individual brilliant people on your team, bringing their separate Whys and visions of what’s possible in the world to this work together.

• As a leader of disruption, you see the layers of Why to the work. Sort and prioritize them, then keep bringing it back to focus for your team.

• Lead your team with the Why. Tell the Why. Ask the Why. Every time, every conversation, every day.

• Open with the Why, then layer the What, How and When on top.

THE BIG WHY- The deepest level of individual personal drive we all have is our Big Why… why we’re doing this in the great scheme of life. This is our biggest game, truest purpose, greatest good and what gets us out of bed in the morning.

Steve Jobs: “To make a dent in the universe.”

As a leader, get clear about yours. Once you do, it will come through as the passion that fuels everything else you do, and will serve as inspiration for every person you lead.

You also need to get  … their individual Big Whys. Once you know their WHY, it can be very powerful, giving you a way to frame communication with them- an entrance into their world at any moment.  When they’re in need of motivation, acknowledgment or perspective, you can frame it in the most meaningful way for what matters most to them.  Their why is their buy-in, and your why can be their inspiration.

Once you’re grounded in this deepest, most stable part of the pyramid, the others- WHAT, HOW, and WHEN are easy to reference and command as needed, because they’re truly held in perspective of the biggest Why.

• If you don’t already know them, find the Big Whys for each on your core team… by asking them!  While this is getting to what’s most essential to people’s core, many don’t talk much about it or even think of it consciously to the level of easy articulation. Getting them to unearth it will help them get more passionate about what their doing, and help you to lead them more accurately.

• As you ask, know that these questions are the kind that may require people to search a little internally for if they haven’t already clarified it for themselves. Give them space to think about it and then ask in layers…

You may ask them, “So why do you do this?”

They may say, “because I’m intrigued by X kinds of challenges,” or some other such practical but not meaningful answer.

You then follow up simply with, “Why are these kinds of challenges intriguing to you?”

They might answer, “Because I really care about X…”

You probe, “Why do you care so much about X?”

…until you’ve asked five levels into their Why. Think of it as helping them peel the layers back on the onion of their Big Why, getting down to their most fundamental Big Why beneath.

As you lead and manage every day, the art of it is to keep perspective for yourself and your team. When, How, What, Why are each important in different ways,  can demand its own hyper focus, and can become consuming if you’re not careful.   Picture yourself as standing at any level on the pyramid, grounded at that level,  easily able to reach every level above it. If you’re standing all the way up in When, you can’t even see, let alone reach the others below you. The deeper you go on the pyramid, the better your perspective is, allowing each of the other levels to fall into place. Standing and starting with Why, you can layer, reference, tap and pull from What, How and When easily, without getting sucked in to them and losing your vantage point.

Your perspective colors how you choose, lead and relate… so keep yourself grounded.

©SarahSinger&Co. 2013

It’s Getting All Over You… The Power of State, Part 3

“Excuse me, but can you get your foul State off of me, please? I’m trying to be creative and inspired here, and you’re contaminating it with your irritated grouchiness, which is getting all over everyone. Please go handle that.“

What would it be like to work on a team where you could actually say that to someone? I’m here to testify that it’s actually possible, and can be awesome. Maybe you won’t start off quite that pointed, but I can get you close...

We know by now that what we’ve called “mood” before is actually State, comprised of three interconnected parts- Mental, Emotional and Physical. We mess with one of those parts, the other two shift instantly, every time. If you’re just joining us here, take a few minutes to check out Part 1 and Part 2 to get the full power of State in how you’re embodying it yourself- it’s huge. 

Once you’ve got a handle on your OWN State (which you’ll tinker with for a lifetime), you’re halfway there, since your State is the model for theirs, and they’re watching you all the time. So now it’s time to directly take on something just as clutch... other people’s States.  As we’ve established, most people have little awareness of their own State and even less aptitude in effectively changing it. If you came at most people with the opening statement of this post they might slug you or cry, because they simply don’t get it (yet).  So until they do (and even after), it’ll be YOU in many moments who will need to do it for them.   

Check them out.  

...In a different way than you have been, paying attention to their State. At any given moment, any person you’re with is in a particular state. The key question is twofold- 

What State are they in? and… 

Is it the state you want them to be in (for the task at hand, the news you’re about to drop on them, the next XX hours you’re about to spend with them, the way their State is spreading to others etc.)? 

As a leader, start paying attention as much to their State as those other things like what they’re contributing, focusing on and doing. This matters because it’s fueling all of those things already, and will get you to the core of what makes them awesome (or not) moment to moment. To maximize not just your performance but your team’s as well, start managing States. Your ability to facilitate their State is directly proportional to their motivation, focus, and productivity.

Cues tell all. 

80-90% of all communication is nonverbal. What we feel and think manifests itself in our tonality, body language, eye movements, breathing and facial expression. It’s incredibly hard to fake these things (maybe impossible, but that’s for another day), and the people you’re with tell you a lot about where they are without ever uttering a word... if you pay attention. Notice posture (leaning forward, into you or turned away, avoiding), jaw set and brow furrow, eye contact, and the tonality/cadence of their speaking. Even breathing- if someone’s breathing is high or shallow, they’re stressed. If it’s low and abdominal, they’re more relaxed. Practice first paying attention to these cues, then labelling them in your mind as different States (excited, bored, curious, sad, irritated, reflective, pumped up, grouchy, inspired…). Then, ask yourself if the State they’re in is a good one for what’s happening, or not.  If not, then get busy… 

Change from the outside in. 

You can change someone else’s state in a second. In fact you do it all the time without labeling it such. 

Take someone who’s State is resistant, for instance. Arms folded, jaw set, breathing high in chest, brow slightly furrowed, voice monotone and forced. Yet with a simple question that gets them to think about something else completely... you get that person to a much more open and receptive State.  That’s an outside-in State Change.

Or… you and a teammate were brainstorming on a question with you recording at the whiteboard, and at one point you switch spots- you hand over the marker to your partner to get her up and writing as you then walk around the room, new ideas flowing. That switch was another State Change. 

Or... you’re presenting to a group, and you see their eyes glazing over, as Bored State starts to take over the room. You have everyone quickly stand up, you pose a question for them all to answer to another person, then have them sit back down, now awake and engaged.  Nice State Change. 

Here are some more (some deliberate breaks in pattern/focus, others quick resets) : 

• Have them tell you about their last success with this team in vivid detail. (mental)

• Take them for a walk. (physical)

• Change the subject completely. (mental)

• Continue the conversation standing up if you were sitting. (physical)

• Give them a compliment. (emotional)

• Give them a high-five. (physical)

• Tell them a joke. (emotional)

• Everyone rotate positions in the room. (physical)

• Ask their opinion about something you know they care about. (mental/emotional)

• Toss them a ball. (physical)

• Offer them a snack or drink, like a bottle of water or a cup of coffee. (physical)

• Change or put on some music with the energy you’re going for. (mental/physical/emotional)

• Show them a hilarious or inspiring or thoughtful or intriguing post or video online. (emotional)

Switch it Up- Early and Often

Those state changes are key when someone’s in a overtly negative or low-energy state, as each will break the pattern they’re in, changing their State to something more engaged, positive or higher energy.  The higher the energy, the better in most cases. 

That said, your team needs deliberate State Changes more than you think.  

The average attention span correlates with age (like 5 minutes max for a 5 year old)… up to about age 18, at which point it maxes out. So 18-20 minutes is about the limit of most people’s attention span in the work you’re doing (outside of gaming and other immersive altered-state activities).  All attempts of “plowing through” beyond that window are a waste of time and energy, because we know that once State’s gone so is focus, learning and performance. Instead, Change State! All you and your team need is a reset of attention- a State Change- about every 18-20 minutes in your work process, and the brain/performance/focus stays fresh. 

While the list above is a start, personalize, customize and add to it with your own State Changes, and then start playing them all to try out what fits best where. 

You can call it. 

There is tremendous power in State management- for you as an individual and for the people around you. Once you and your team understand it, you can then own it and call it with one another. I coach high performing teams across industries and rank, whose productivity and morale has been transformed with the power of State. On these teams, because they get it, everyone is responsible for his/her own State, making sure it’s productive, conducive to what the team’s up to, and able to help others accelerate. They incorporate State Changes as regular team practice into their work, which makes all the difference. You’ll see high-fiving between agenda topics, movement as they work, koosh balls flying purposefully to engage the right States, and people owning their own attention, performance and focus with their State.  And when they don’t, you might just hear that line I opened this post with, to which someone would respond,

“Actually, you’re absolutely right. My grouchy State isn’t helping anyone- I apologize for getting it on you. I need a State Change. I’ll be back in a few minutes, better.”  

And then they go, take a few minutes to change their State, re-engage, and the team’s on on its way. It’s a beautiful thing. 

Your turn...

©SarahSinger&Co. 2013