I see meaning and connect dots best when I'm removed from it all and can get perspective... like looking down at the world from this spot, my favorite vantage point, and favorite perk of business travel.

There's the Meaning

Sarah Singer-Nourie June 19, 2018

There are some thoughts, feelings, perspectives which simply cannot be understood without experiencing them ourselves first hand. While we can empathize, imagine, visualize or be moved by hearing someone else's experience, there’s an altering of self that happens at a different level when it’s us in it, really getting it.

We call them life experiences.

Transformative moments = where something shifts in such a way that we suddenly view the world, define things, and understand ourselves differently from that moment forward...

Experiencing true love.

Realizing you've made it through something you know could've taken you down.

Watching the birth of a baby.

Watching a person die.

Standing in a place where atrocity happened, and feeling the energy of it, still there.

Feeling someone give to you unconditionally with no expectation of reciprocation.

Feeling true heartbreak.

Becoming a parent.

Having to bury someone you love.

Seeing true talent or beauty in yourself you’ve never been able to see before.

Running to a bomb shelter as an incoming rocket approaches.

True, deep connection with another person.

Confronting a crippling fear.

Going full out to your limit, then pushing beyond it, more than what you thought you had in you.

Being diagnosed with cancer.

Looking out above the cloud line and the world, from a mountain you just climbed.

Having a life-or-death near miss.

I’ve experienced most of these, and those I haven’t, people way too close to me have. While I haven't had to run for for my life, taking cover from a rocket, recently, with heart racing, I sent loved ones strength as they did halfway across the world. I can't feel what they felt, in it... they'll never see their own lifestyle’s peace the same way again. Yet, while they will actually feel that contrast for the rest of their lives, the empathy that allows me to attempt that understanding is what ultimately connects us as humanity.

I do not have cancer now, yet my life reracked itself when I did get diagnosed with it. Contained to a tumor, I had ten weeks leading up to my surgery to get my head around it. I continued to focus on the positive and possible (as I do) in my work, choices and interactions- clearer and more focused than ever before about the impact I’m making, suddenly more urgent. I experienced emotions I’d never felt before. I undertook a very internal process of definition, redefinition and brutally-awake consciousness about every part of my life. It was scary and intense... and completely clarifying. By the time I headed to surgery I was clear, strong, grateful and certain I'd gotten learning I needed to get, having reached a level of deep self-clarity in those 10 weeks that only going through a transformative, reflective process can bring. I wasn’t concerned, certain that I was done with it, that cancer was not going to be part of my life or definition. In the end, that tumor was benign. As the surgeon told me the news two days after surgery, it was anti-climactic. Not because I wasn’t grateful to be cancer-free (I was and am), but because I had already been changed by it, gotten the shift, gone through the process and was on my way forward, different.

Seemingly opposite, yet similarly, climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro changed the way I see myself in relation to the world. More about that here; it will forever be with me in the way I look at our human strength and fragility, our place in the universe, and what happens when we are fully present.

I could elaborate similarly with the long version of every experience in that list above, and I'm happy to share any of them with you next time we meet. I'll ask you about yours, too, because in both the telling and listening of them, we start to truly understand the layers of ourselves and one another.

Each life experience holds a power beyond the way we see things just in those moments... they change the scaffolding of our thinking and feeling, permeate how our reality is created, how our thoughts connect and how our meaning is made. The world we experience is actually different, because we are different in it. The lens through which we see everything is colored by it, and, like wearing sunglasses for a long time, we don’t even notice the tint after awhile.

While these experiences range from devastating to truly inspiring, and somewhat minor to stop-you-dead-in-your-tracks major, they represent the whole spectrum of living fully. I believe there are no accidents in my own life or any of our lives... not because I believe it’s all predetermined, but rather that it’s all cumulative. All that happens is a setup for everything else; how we got to here- seeing, hearing, feeling and interpreting the world the way we uniquely do. Everything I’ve experienced up until this moment defines how I take on, fully experience, or altogether miss the next moment after it. If I’m paying attention, that definition can be enlighteningly profound along the way. If I’m not, I might not see the nuances of impact until years later when I reflect on the patterns of my life or miss them completely as many do.

I’m convinced that capturing, learning from and calling back these moments of our definition is literally what makes the meaning of life. It’s the difference between being a passenger on the ride or actually defining the path.

I live, think, coach, teach, advise and facilitate in the world calling attention and bringing perspective to moments, shifts, experiences as learning to define ourselves forward. There are so many more moments of shift possible (or even occurring) than we acknowledge. While I admittedly look for them all the time and often find the most insight in the least-obvious moments of life... I believe there’s an opportunity here for most of us to be paying more attention.

While big news and big life experiences are dramatic and get our attention, are we getting the meaning in them, let alone the smaller ones occurring every day? Rather than plowing through them to get to the other side (especially tempting if they're high in adrenaline or discomfort)- how can we really get what's possible from them to grow forward with awareness?

More moments than we think, could mean something. Each one could further define who we are, and life as we know it. Each one shared or truly heard is an opportunity to truly connect. Let's.

Here are some key ways to tune in, capture and really get to the meaning in your moments…

Give yourself space.

There’s enormous power in perspective, which is hard to get when you’re fully immersed in it. Pull yourself up and out for a few precious minutes or an hour or a regular practice. Like looking back down on the earth from an airplane window, it’s amazing how you can see it all with just a little space between you and it. This happens in just being still without input or noise or screens or interaction, in meditation, in just stepping away from the fray for awhile.

If you don’t have an airplane window nearby, try this:

https://www.headspace.com/ Andy Puddicome has brilliantly created a way for you to understand, try and even develop a simple practice of meditating that anyone can do anywhere. It's very straightforward yet casual, it only takes 10 minutes, and his animations of how/why meditation really works demystify it better than any I've seen. And- the phone app is awesome- I use it all the time.

Reflect on it.

Go back over it, allowing yourself to feel, think, respond and ultimately grow from it. What happened? What did you see? What feelings came up? What can you learn from it? What do you want to do with it going forward.

Create planned, deliberate pauses at the ends of time blocks to debrief and process the growth you can't see when you're in it every day. Your birthday, a new year, a work anniversary, your kids' birthday, quarterly, monthly, etc.

My favorite reflective process- it only happens once a year, but can get you mega-started:

http://www.doyou10q.com/ This awesome process only happens yearly, but is worth the wait. It gives you one big question per day for ten consecutive days to answer- about you and your last year. You can store your answers in their vault, completely private or share them out. Either way, they send those answers BACK to you a year later, when you do the process again. Definitely get going with your own reflection process meanwhile, but do this one as well!

Journal it.

This is not about being a writer or even writing every day, unless it’s helpful to you. It is about just capturing whatever’s there in your head, heart and experience so you don’t lose it. It doesn’t need to make sense to anyone else, and can just be notes. Whatever you’re feeling, thinking, noticing, wondering- capture it. If you know that writing is actually an outlet for your, give yourself the necessary time and space to just write, regularly. Either way, you’ll find that thoughts made concrete into words on a screen or page will find their way to meaning and your growth in a way they just can’t swirling around in your head.

My favorite tools:

http://www.ommwriter.com/ is a great app which gets rid of all distraction as you write. You can pick from a couple of cool background sounds, screens and typefaces, and it brings you into your own private world in which to write. I've productively lost myself there for long stretches. :)

http://280daily.com/ is awesome because it takes all the pressure off- no need to write a big long entry. In fact you have to pay a little monthly to have your entries go over 280 characters (worth it to me). It's great for capturing where you are, the essence of your experience or musings which you're not ready to write out into a whole piece. One of my favorite features is being able to look at my last several entries in a cloud format- sort of a mind map of one's mind.

Process it.

Working through my own experiences, challenges and musings toward clarity- via true process with my own coach/es is an invaluable piece of it all to me. Of course I'm biased as a coach myself, yet I truly believe it's the best investment a person can make in personal health and growth. No matter how evolved we become, there is still nothing more powerful than someone outside our own heads who can get it, see the openings and meaning we can’t and help facilitate the path forward.

Of course I'd love to work with you if I'm not already, so here's that link. Or, here are some more resources for my own coaches (all a bit different than my coaching approach) and their process which have made all the difference:

http://theclearingsight.com OR http://aclc.us Both of these sites are resources for clearing work, which I have found to be clutch with two of the coaches you'll find there- Jayne Johnson and Ceil Stanford. Any problem or challenge will resolve when you see it fully and clearly, and Clearing is a process that allows you to look objectively so that the answers, within you already, come to you easily and quickly. It is not a technique to help you manage, control or cope- clearing work clears the issue out fully and permanently.

http://www.blairsinger.com is a master. He has inspired and coached hundreds of thousands of people past the little voices in our heads, past what we thought was possible to true greatness, full-out mastery and remarkable impact in the world. He has been my mentor, coach and most pivotal influence to growth for most of my life. Put yourself in one of his programs and take yourself on. And follow him leading groups up Kili!

http://thinkwellbewell.com/coaching/ Whitney Demorest is expert in reading energy, and helping people get to a place of emotional clarity. She practices and teaches EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique), which is an great method for alleviating emotional blocks.

http://www.integratedcoaching.org/?p=1970 Dr. MJ Jiaras brings an awesome background as a clinical psychologist AND a coach, getting leaders to their core strengths and impact. He and his team are stellar.

Share it.

This is where we get to chance to have that deep true connection with people. We spend so much energy on how different we are from one another, and can be splintered from it. Yet we are truly moved in the moments when we can connect with one another as so very much the same, as feeling, thinking, reacting humans. We’re all seeking connection at some level. This is where it begins. Start to truly share where you are, the moments that count, and what life stirs in you... and you’ll quickly find the people who you can connect with in a true, meaningful way. This is easy for some and hard for others, yet the very portal for understanding and human connection. Push yourself to actually go there.

As you head back into your life from reading this piece, look, listen, feel and share with a different awareness. Big and small, your moments are happening, and could be the very catalysts for your next trajectory, big insight or ignited relationship. Skip the smalltalk, and go for the layers.

There is the meaning.

©SarahSinger&Co. 2014

The original version of this post was written in 2014, and it's just been updated 6/19/18. While the list has shifted a bit, and more insights added, the lessons are timeless and maybe even more poignant right now than ever before. I welcome your thoughts, your feedback, and YOUR moments of shift.

Season of Opposites

Sarah Singer-Nourie December 22, 2017

Could be occurring simultaneously right about now for you…

“I love the holidays.” and “I am stressed out by the holidays.”

“I love seeing my family, yet they also drive me crazy like nobody else.”

Being in the midst of a crowd, but feeling completely isolated.

The holidays being truly magical for the kids, yet feeling the fatigue and stress of creating that magic for them as an adult.

My focus outward on people coming together again, yet focus inward to the impact they have on me.

That focus on celebrating with others, and pulled into my head for personal year in review.

...This time of year can magnify these opposites as we break from rest-of-the-year rhythm to revisit (or miss) places, people and traditions. They can play serious tug-of-war inside our heads, which is stressful even when we try to ignore it. The stress of opposing-force tension within ourselves is the hardest kind. Worse is when we’re not thinking about it consciously, and it’s working in the background of what we do, just insidiously sucking our energy… exhausting.

What if those same opposites could be just fine and even the fun dynamic of the season?

Here’s how…

Call out the tricky ones.

The fastest way to de-power any problem is to expose it. So, call out these opposing forces for what they are, and watch how that strain lessens. Out loud: “This running around part is crazy. So- once we get there, let’s all take a few deep breaths and let that go to reset before we walk in.” Later, silently to myself: “I’m surrounded by people but completely disconnected… now’s the time to engage.” Calling it out like this won't eliminate the situation, but will lessen the tension everyone feels from it.

Then… try some new opposites. You can find meaning where you haven’t, connection with those you couldn’t, and peace in the midst of the swirl.

Here's how:

Be InterestED instead of interesting.

Initiate actual connection instead of forgettable smalltalk which we all really hate anyhow. Yet try it with some hyperfocus on them. Set all the stuff you could either gloss over or delve into about your own year aside, to get under someone else’s layers… Put the big spotlight shining down from the sky on the other person you’re talking with and genuinely lean in to enter their lives a little with some genuine questions. For shallow answers like “I’m good, thanks. Y’know- busy,” make eye contact and ask a layer or two deeper until you get to what they care about. Ask, “Of all the things you’re busy with, what’s actually your favorite and why?” You’ll get to what they’re really up to in their lives, and ultimately substantive which they’ll light up in talking about. And it'll be way more interesting than the surface-y stuff you could talk about with anyone, and both forget.

This is when you hug goodbye at the end and can genuinely say, “I’m so glad we got to talk a bit,” having created a memorable connection.

Sprint and recover.

Know your tolerances. Very few people are completely extroverted (getting all their energy from others) or completely introverted (getting all their energy from solitude). You might love the energy of people in the get togethers, yet know that you’ll enjoy it more (and be more enjoyable to others) if you get yourself away from the crowd for a moment of solitude every now and then. You might be pulled by the escape hatch of your phone's feed, yet know that you need to push yourself to engage with folks instead. You know that you can dive into the gluttony of food, drink and football-watching completely, but will feel gross by the end of the weekend if you don't get your body moving significantly, too.

During the big get-togethers, step outside when nobody’s looking, listen to the quiet, take some deep breaths for a few minutes. You’ll go back in reset, refreshed and ready to re-engage.
Maybe that run or yoga class is more important on these indulgent days than any other, so your body can get something out of it all, too, and not shut down on you with fatigue.
Find what truly recharges and resets you, and do that intentionally a few times each day.
Get perspective. Journal, debrief, do a gratitude exercise… then re-engage with your lens cleared.

Your social and emotional stamina will stretch out, and you can come out of the holiday with more energy- just imagine that!

Go bigger.

One of the best ways to get out of your own head of concern is to focus on something bigger than yourself. A person, a cause, an idea, an act that gets your impact out there beyond your normal sphere of influence. Every time it brings perspective and even appreciation back to your world afterward.

Do something you’d never otherwise do- something out of character. Jump on the trampoline with the kids, initiate a game with the adults, share something personal.
Find a cause and give something real to it (time, food, some generous act). Even get someone else off the couch to spontaneously go do something positive for others with you.
S tretch your head, get inspired by a great big idea, and immerse yourself in it. And share it with everyone, instead of the commercial they were watching during the game.

This is when you get to see the best side of those folks around you. Inspire them to go/think/speak bigger, and watch them expand too. You’ll love them even more after.

Go smaller.

Intentional of not, we’re all causing ripples wherever we go which you’re often too busy to notice. Now’s a great time to turn up your observation radar and really get the nuance of impact happening all around (or in) you. It’s way too easy to zone out into the feed on your phone (while everyone else does, too), missing the cool, striking, sometimes barely perceptible shift and impact happening all the time in our live interactions, which, put all together creates meaning and indelibly cool memories. So- your phone put away (which will trigger others to put theirs away), awareness zoomed into little things, notice and capture these nuances, which are happening if you look for them…

an act of true kindness
the way someone’s face changes when they talk about something they love
how people (including you) initiate and respond to physical connection (the hug, the lean, the space between you and them on the couch)
the shift that happens in someones eye color and voice when they shift from smalltalk to depth
a moment that makes you stop and really think differently about something (stay open for it)

This is when you start to really get the beauty and the intricacies of people and what really links us to one another.

So.. in this season of opposites, call them out, go to the ends of each spectrum fully, and try on some new opposites. Create and soak up the moments, snapshots and soundtracks of it all.

And… know that you’re one sentence, one gesture, one conversation away from awesome, stirring connection with people.

Happy Holidays!

...and yes, I'll get back to you in a few days about your new year. ;)

This post originally appeared 12/24/14, and is being republished for this year's holidays, by special request. :)

©SarahSinger&Co. 2018

Bubble Moments

Sarah Singer-Nourie May 9, 2013

“Keep in mind… for everyone else in your life, these last two days have just been Thursday and Friday,” I said to a group of twenty-four people last Friday afternoon. They laughed, but then went a little silent as they wrapped their heads around that, realizing that the time they’d just experienced was different than normal- like in a bubble.

We’d just finished an intense workshop I taught, during which 24 people in the room experienced some huge personal and professional shifts in their awareness and realities. Their own possibility opened, they connected with people in ways they hadn’t before, and they got perspective on themselves at an a-ha level. Several described themselves as “different people” by the end from how they walked in. It seemed like several days if not more in some ways, it was so significant.

Awesome. And yet- we really only spent about a day and a half together.

There are some moments, hours or days that truly seem to be metaphysically different than the others- as if the moments of time themselves are somehow altered, stretched or suspended. Like in a bubble.

…A conversation in which everything finally clicks, insights build on one another and generate new ideas, and the electricity and magic of true connection is tangible.

…The timeout of a game, when the crowd and noise fall away, every person on your team leans in, you feel the energy, and you’re locked in.

…The last night with best college friends, “going there” to connect at a deeper level, savoring each moment, an epic memory is etched before you all disperse for months apart.

…An experience of transformative impact shared with another… in which your collective eyes are opened to something new, which changes how you see the world forever.

…The moment you got the news which changed everything…?

Most of these seem longer or shorter somehow than normal. In the experience of them, it’s as if time is truly suspended, and you’re able to live and stretch each moment out more. Like a scene from a Matrix movie, the moments seem to take on another dimension, separate from the flow of time and incident the rest of the world’s experiencing. Like a protected bubble floating through the rest of the air, which is all the same. These “bubble” experiences also seem more intense than others in the moment. Senses become more acute, colors more vivid, emotions more raw, connection more amplified. The rest of the world falls away, and our normally scattered attention zooms into focus- on another person, an idea, a feeling or the shared experience itself. The self-consciousness of monitoring oneself against time, other things/people outside the bubble, responsibility, or the swirl of activity marching along outside it just melts away.

So purely what’s left, finally possible… is to just be there fully in the moment, wide awake and aware, allowing ourselves to think, feel and respond without inhibition or distraction. Presence. This is when true creativity occurs in its rawest form and connection feels charged in a way that it generates something palpable. Flow. It’s real, there’s great research to support it, and creatives have spent generations trying to perfect the ways back into it after those moments are gone.

The classic sign coming out of one of these experiences- getting that feeling of disorientation (like a bubble popping), looking at one’s watch and realizing how much time has passed…

“It seemed like twenty minutes- how could it have been four hours?” or
“It seemed like an hour- how could it have been only ten minutes?” or
“We’ve really only known one another for a week? Seems like years.” or
“It’s only been two days? Feels like at least a week.”

In our memory, they become etched deeply and clearly, touchstones we replay over and over. If you have experienced a bubble moment like this, you might be silently waiting/seeking the next, and replaying the last in your mind for inspiration. If you haven’t, stay open, get present and tune in.

So… Are some moments actually longer or shorter than others in our experience of them? Like separated from the rest in a bubble? Perhaps.

One thing is certain… in every one of these instances, there’s a huge difference which allows the magic to occur. WE are different in them than we are otherwise.
Whether triggered by another person, a situation, or our own choosing in these rare and indelible moments… we got and allowed ourselves to be fully and completely present, awake and engaged.

The biggest question is this- how do we increase the frequency of these moments?
While they are rare for most of us, we can have more of them. The more we allow the distractions to fall away, the more we choose to step in, lean in, open in… to moments, conversations, people and experiences the more they’ll occur, because we’ll create space for them to occur. For example, I always get closer to people just before the window of opportunity closes because it pushes me to act- someone moving away, a project ending, someone quitting the team. There’s something about that “last call” push, which forces us to say things we’d normally wordsmith to death in our heads, express feelings that show some vulnerability, step out and seize the moment to connect.
…And these amazing bubble moments of connection occur.

Since noticing this pattern, I’ve made a more conscious effort to initiate moments as “this is IT” instead of waiting for that last call. This is one reframe, but we can create the space in many ways. Seems simple in theory to just put the phone away and be here now, right? But we know it’s not really…

Out of sight, open mind.
You may have become one of those people who sits at a restaurant dinner or team meeting looking at your phone’s screen instead of the people you’re with. Rather than just turning your ringer off and keeping the phone nearby- actually leave it in another location completely, and watch what happens. The last time I did this (accidentally), I panicked for the first few minutes, but then felt freer, more aware and more present than I had in weeks. One leader I know has everyone at any restaurant get-together put all phones in the center of the table, ringers off. If anyone picks up their phone, they buy for everyone.
In your moments, initiate it, and give yourself the space.
Unplugged and undistracted, your brain will reorient to the moment in a powerful way.

Wake up.
It’s amazing how we don’t even notice how often we’re physically in a moment, yet somewhere else completely emotionally and mentally. We get through entire days unable to recall individual interactions or moments (because we weren’t really paying attention), pride ourselves on “multitasking” (trendy word for not being present), and spend a lot of time in auto-pilot, half-listening to the people in our lives but not really hearing them with any intent, empathy or connection at all. We let ourselves to do this because it’s easy- most others are right there with us, casually disconnected right next to us. Enough. Instead, pay attention in a way you haven’t before- to what their face and eyes are telling you behind their words, to the one thing they said in the middle of that sentence that had more emotion behind it than everything else, to what they didn’t even know they cared about until you asked.
Get interestED instead of being so interestING, and notice how much there is to build on, learn into and open up when you’re actually looking, listening and feeling for it.

Go there.
Sadly, most people have a pretty low shared standard of interaction with one another. We don’t insist on one another’s attention, rarely push one another to engage, and don’t call out the missed opportunities for connection. You can try those, but I’ve found from experience that it’s much more effective to just be the one in the room to create it, rather than call it out. Just go there- ask the big question, probe a level deeper, lean in to make eye contact as you really listen between their words, and lead off the connecting with your own sharing to open it up. People are truly starved for real contact, yet they don’t even realize it, and definitely don’t know what to do about it. You do.
They’ll follow your lead and then create it with you…but they need you to go first.

The greatest thing I did for the 24 people in that room last week was create space and a way for them to be present, be engaged in the inquiry of what’s possible, and give them a process to GO there. I’ll keep doing that, because it’s just what I bring wherever I go. Meanwhile, in the moments we’re with one another, let’s really make it mean something. We can be present, our attention fully with the ones we’re with in the moment we’re in, creating our own bubble away from the fray. Let’s go…

What it Stirs in Us…

Sarah Singer-Nourie April 16, 2013

While crisis stirs fear and all that goes with that, it can also bring out some important things in people. We suddenly look at our lives and see what really matters- what we’ve got which really counts and what we can give to help others who really need it.

Gratitude…

Tragedy can bring out amazing Gratitude in us. We suddenly take stock, and get how lucky we really are in the great scheme of things. For the last couple of months I’ve been doing a gratitude exercise, in which I reflect and take a minute to capture all that I value and am grateful for… every day. It’s one thing to do this as an isolated reflection or in the wake of a tragedy as many are doing right now – but doing this every day really shifts something about how one sees the world. I highly recommend it. As part of the process, I make a list of ten things I value and am grateful for right now. Two of the things I wrote today were “waking up this morning in health and strength” and “the opportunity to make a difference in the world.” These seem especially poignant today.

Try completing this every day for the next 10 days, and your view of the world will shift, guaranteed. From Alan Walter:

Goal for today…
What am I willing to give to others today?
What 10 things do I value that I am grateful for right now?
What do I value that another does for me that I am grateful for right now?
What am I happy about right now?

Empathy…

Yesterday shook up our world again, as Boston went from a scene of celebration to tragedy in a second. The fear of that struck me hard. In looking at the footage (like other similar events) we see people flee in fear. Yet we also see people who run IN to help, which is inspiring, and something I spend a lot of time thinking about how to tap. People responding with empathy, care and support for one another in complete humanity. Maybe I’m just seeing it more because that’s my filter, yet it seems to me that the more we get pushed and tested, the more we’re supporting and stepping up rather than retreating or just protecting ourselves. For the first time it seems that the stories of people helping in this crisis are overshadowing the stories of shock. We’re becoming more resilient and more united in spirit. There’s much work to do for this to translate into everyday empathy for one another in normal times, but let’s start here.

Impact…

Even though these incidents of crisis are happening more and more, I believe that the world can change with the choices we make and the ripples we cause toward good. A week ago, a very special project I’ve been involved with for the last two years about the possibility and coming together toward a world without hate, delivered its message to 10,0000 people at once at a ceremony in Birkenau, the biggest extermination camp of the Holocaust. It’s a project of light, hope and creating the world we want rather than staying stuck in the pattern of darkness we’ve had. As my partners and I watched it livestreamed from the other side of the world, it was an amazing moment which blew me away in significance, connection, pride and hope. We can create the world we believe is possible.

Significance…

In a few days, my oldest daughter will become a Bat Mitzvah. This is a big deal, and signifies the end of a long, intense process for her and for our family. I’ve been immersed in big conversations daily with her about the meaning of life, her purpose and how we choose our paths… a lot for anyone to wrap their head around, let alone a thirteen year old with a coach like me for a mom. Yesterday’s events put a particularly focused point on our discussion about people and how every choice impacts so much more than we think.

Inspiration…

Finally, there’s this candle you see on the page. It’s a memorial candle sitting here next to me, and it’s lit because it’s the third anniversary of my dad’s death- his Yartzeit, as it’s called in my religion. People light these candles when someone dies, but also every year on a person’s Yartzeit-so today in the wake of Boston’s tragedy, it has even more meaning. One of the ways I process, reflect and summon my energy is through running. Even before yesterday’s events, I knew that today’s run would be significant, with my dad fueling it. He was an avid runner who protected that time as his solo space to connect with himself and sort out the world. While I didn’t really get that or get into it until a few years ago, I now I hold that time as sacred much like he did, and he’s my inspiration for every run. He used to say that running was his time to pray. Personally, I’ve never really been a big pray-er. I reflect, I think deeply about things, I have frequent moments of true spiritual connection, but not in the form of direct praying to God. And yet, without intending it, all week a little tune from my childhood has been playing in my head… It’s the Modeh Ani prayer, which we used to sing as kids and my dad loved. He sang it while he ran each morning. The translation: “I am thankful to God for allowing me to awaken to another day…” In the wake of this week, yesterday and what we’re all causing in the world with each choice, this couldn’t be any more meaningful.

Forward…

So today I started my run with tears. I believe that tears are the literal overflow of emotions (any kind) that have hit or filled us so much that they need a spillway, so no surprise today, as gratitude, empathy, loss, inspiration and my dad both filled and fueled me.

My dad, who taught me to question everything, think and feel deeply about things, make impact in the world every day, come together with support when someone needs it and share what you’ve got to make a difference in the world…is present. If he were physically here, this week he’d pull us together into the kitchen for a family meeting in which he’d remind us about sticking together, supporting one another, reaching out to those who need it and being proud of what we’re able to impact, despite the circumstances.

And so we are…